a note from karen ann
"When I stopped allowing others expectations to dictate my life choices or define me; my outlook changed dramatically." ~Karen Ann
Thank you for joining me on the journey we call life. I discovered my gifts at the tender age of eleven, but after a traumatic event I shut them down as best I could. I randomly received images, but as far as I was concerned, I was determined to ignore. Slowly they stopped, and the ego mind took its place.
Although, my outgoing nature landed me the title, "life of the party;" it was just bravado to hide my insecurities. My conceited tendencies created challenges within all of my relationships. I was quick-tempered and prone to sudden outbursts of aggression, coupled with my boisterous persona. On the surface I presented tough, but inside I craved feeling safe and protected.
In my late twenties, I accepted a job that steered me in a place of toxicity. I can attest that what we hold within ourselves surely draws to us like energy. I worked there for eleven years, and in that time I felt many nudges to leave but instead, I retreated into the mire of my fears and self-doubts. I denied myself joy by giving away my power, and in doing so, I fabricated the idea I was a victim and took zero responsibility for my life or the current that ran through it.
Finally, after years of duress, the damn broke, and the flood forced me out of a job dumping me head first into a place of uncertainty. At first, I viewed it as punishment, but now I see clearly, it was the catalyst to help me reconnect to my Spirit, and redirect my life. I wallowed for a while, battling depression, anxieties, and my anger remained, but consistently as problems added to the pileup of my worries, I began to notice how something beneficial would happen to alleviate it. My willingness to step out of victim mode made a massive shift in my mental state. I found myself enjoying the little things and even though I wasn't out of the woods I permitted myself to let go of the rope inch at a time.
Today, I am in a very different individual in a transformed frame of mind. In ten years, my family and I have moved twice, both several states away from where I grew up. Both moves were on the guidance of Spirit. I moved to New Hampshire with barely a penny scraped together. Unbeknownst to me, this move ushered in what I describe as, Spiritual boot camp. Then two years ago I began to get messages from Spirit to move to Maine, so 2017, we leaped, and this move has made all the difference to me in my life. I don't fear change, I live in faith and wholeheartedly trust the Universe.
Ten years ago when my life imploded, God spoke through me and for the first time I was open to listening. God said; "Child live in faith, live in faith." I didn't know how to do that, and I hadn't realized I was about to find out. Over the next six years, God showed up faithfully, helping me through my hardships and each followed by a miracle. That's not to say I didn't go into my patterns of disdain, anger, and fear. I did, but over time I decided to stop myself from spiraling into that darkness. I earnestly searched for things to be grateful for and even in the dark I found my way into the light.
Looking back I can connect the dots and see how it was all meant to build my faith, and I would not change a single moment. I believe we all have the birthright to live our life to the highest in peace and joy. Each of us is destined for grand things, but we need to get out of our way and allow the Universe to work in our favor. We block our joy by giving away our power and believing others over our hearts.
My life has moved to a place of purity and peace. I am determined to spend the rest of my days sharing my experiences, love, and guidance to anyone open to remembering their light. I hold a space of grace and hope, but more importantly, I believe in humanity.
We have a choice to rise or fall. Consider this my invitation to leap from the precipice, in blind faith with love and gratitude as your wings.
Karen Ann (Annji)